Been a while. Apols to any who read this stuff. Seriously, isn’t there something better you could be doing? Like running?
So a couple of Saturdays ago I went up to Arrow Valley parkrun in Redditch. I had heard that my local one might be cancelled due to mud or a tsunami or something, and I didn’t want to miss the opportunity. But Arrow Valley turned out to be similarly threatened – due to snow. There was a fairly thin layer over the tarmac surface but it was kind of frozen solid. “No PB attempts!” warned the run director, fearing broken pelvises.
No PBs, I thought, settling into that old devil called “5k pace” in the first KM, You mean I’m not allowed to get what I came to get? Sod that.
OK, so the 2nd KM is feeling slightly unsustainable and those grunting bison behind me are sure to track me down and trample me underfoot, but I ain’t wasting a trip up the M5 for no health and safety palaver.
I enter the 3rd KM with new resolve, head high and smoke pluming from my flared nostrils, like a primed racehorse on a bracing morning in late autumn. But I’m tired. Unspecified stuff in my body doesn’t feel right! Damn, why don’t I just take up sitting down instead of running? What’s so bad about stamp collecting?
KM 4: slowest so far. But as Elliot wrote, KM 4 is the cruellest KM.
Damn this, I’m thinking, winding up my charge to the finish, why can’t I be more like Mo Farah? Surely he doesn’t think about armchairs and cups of tea and Bakewell tarts when it matters not to? Surely he enjoys this pain. But does he? Is that the secret to this stuff – you have to derive pleasure from pain?
You have to derive substance from the void?
That’s something I can do, I’m thinking, pumping my arms hard as I catch sight of the finish. I know that void! I am the runner at the gates of dawn! I’ve been to the void many times and there is indeed stuff there, contrary to reports! Stuff that…
But never mind the void for now. It’s over.
Damn, I only meant to tell you that I went to Redditch and got a 19:47 PB. (Sorry director lady.) Next time I go off on one like that, slap me, OK? By way of recompense here is my report for last Saturday at Worcester parkrun:
Mud. Too many runners (A record 580 or so.) Kids bloody everywhere. (KM 1.) But kids have no aerobic endurance! (KM 2.) Pain. Pain. Mud. Keep going. Pain. Why keep going? Why not stop? Mud. Pain. PAIN. 19:51 for a course PB.
Remember I said a while back about going back to basics and building a proper aerobic cake? I don’t think I’ve been doing it right. Fast bits too fast and slow bits not slow enough. Been doing it different this week and intend to continue. We’ll see what happens.